The dilemma is not loneliness, are affective deficiencies…

I have discovered something that is amazing. Perhaps others had experienced it before me. We must realize that our brothers are dying inside the walls of the churches?

We should take notice that loneliness is killing them and they smile out of shame, in order to not be excluded from the fold and add more suffering to their social exclusion, by the fact that they may be alone, divorced, separated or widowed, or suffering a mental disorder that limits their interpersonal relationships?
I could cite statistics like how many people who profess to be followers of Jesus Christ, are running in just minutes to express their loneliness or the need for company.
Excepting  scammers, approximately 1000 people within hours. And I am not translating this into financial means, which some "Christian" web pages like some dating or introduction sites will take advantage of.

As I notice in my research on this need, I notice a trend where everything points to the pastoral care for pain. In the churches we notice the "outreach" efforts to demonstrate on their web pages their love and companionship according to the fulfilment of the mandate of Jesus: that we love one another. (1 John 4:7). And in fact, neglect this principle before the needs of their own sheep and newcomers to the Church.
The difficulty manifests itself when in action, in the fruits, in the guidance of the sheep. In our congregations there are sheep that boast about how they have met their brothers needs for affection and company, and these "fattened sheep" being totally unaware of or ignoring the shortcomings of other sheep. I refer to in particular to leaders and pastors of the congregations.
The easiest thing for a leader is to respond to a sheep with physical necessity or spiritual: "pray for that..". Love, the leadership of a servant of Jesus is evident in the fruits, my dear Leaders (the first lesson I see), what we ought to reflect on is:

The amen of this whole situation is the fact that these sheep are isolated and seek refuge in the nets of social networks, and if you will allow me, I will explain to you how "the virtual wolves" mangle the feelings, the hopes, the dreams of these sheep. As a psychologist I am not justifying the behavior of these sheep, or my own. I try to explain this phenomenon, even from the perspective of my own heart. Knowing  that I will be "stoned" by my colleagues in counseling.
As I "penetrate" this virtual world, it moves me as I "listen to" expressions of pain in response to deception, dishonesty, manipulation of feelings and emotions that are manipulated by authentic emotional shortcomings. Whenever an authentic email (excepting scammers), a piece of the persons heart is exposed, a person who only wants reciprocation, or at least the opportunity to have a friendship.
This increases the frustration and the need to "hear" the “bing” or"clink" upon the arrival of emails. The saddest thing according to what this these people relay to me in our personal chats is the "no response,” the ignoring of "a virtual relationship" that was started.
Therefore my recommendation: "end the processes of conversations or emails". We know that face to face relationships could be insincere, what can we then say of a virtual relationship? If there is a commitment to friendship, strengthen it, but if that commitment is not there then extinguish it by way of honest and sincere communication.
On the other hand, do not respond lightly to a request for friendship or possible relationship. First pray and meditate on that person's profile. It could prevent "emotional damage" and let us start with the biblical principle:

“Do for others what you would like for them to for you. This is a summary of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.” Matthew 7:12 NLT
For the aggrieved, he must understand that this are virtual relationships that must be carried with care in every conversation or chat. These relationships are not "your hope of salvation", they are simply a chance to fill an emotional deficiency. The strength you seek is outside of the social network scene,  that strength is in the search for inner peace through peace and love that only Jesus gives to you and in your service to others. Searching for friends or relationships in social networks, is not bad, the error comes when you become isolated from the outside world. I know that it is a defense mechanism in order to not suffer any more emotional damage that these people have already suffered or that they themselves have inflicted to others. Only that the emotional withdrawal becomes more painful over time, which is a product of the need for dependency or the need to be "be reciprocated."
I know that some will say to me: let them be they are adults. My answer: Gentlemen, loneliness, emotional gaps marked by discord do not have age, cultural, race, or socioeconomic boundaries. They are simply deficiencies, which are intrinsic in the sheep of your fold, I am speaking to the leaders.

Please, let's be responsible in our chats and emails, as we respond to someone for any difference, whatever difference there may be. Let’s not nourish "false expectations". Remember, that the presence of All Mighty God fills that void, and virtual networks are not the exception. Be an honest and humble Christian in your greetings, and replies to those who wish to be friends and be care of the scamers. There are many ways to protect your identity and you must investigate how to.

In terms of the leaders or pastors, pray and Shepard the pain of your sheep. Seek real encounters among your sheep, there are thousands of strategies, as well as prayer.
I give thanks to Jesus, our Shepherd forever.
Amen God bless you!
PS: It is important for me to tell you that I found an exceptional man who surpassed all my expectations, only by trusting in Him who sent him: Jesus.

Pastoral Counseling:
Rev. David J. Barberis
Founder

Cons. Carmen Ramos

Deputy Director