3 TYPES OF DATING VIOLENCE

Dating Violence can be complex, and there 3 types of abuse that will occur in a dating relationship, and escalate if not addressed, they are: verbal, emotional, physical, and sexual.

Emotional & Verbal Abuse:

Emotional abuse is the result of the aggressor wanting to be in control of the other person’s behavior and or feelings. The abuser tries to limit his or her partner’s ability to act independently, undermining their confidence. Verbal abuse includes all lack of respect towards a partner, usually begins with swearing at a partner, insulting then belittling them, and finally threatening them with words.

Physical Abuse:

In most cases, males use physical force to show they are in control (I only hurt you because of how much I love you), while females use it to protect themselves, to retaliate, or fear of being assaulted. Physical abuse includes hair-pulling, biting, shoving, slapping, choking, strangling, punching, kicking, burning, advancing all the way to using or threatening to use a weapon, and holding a partner hostage.

Sexual Abuse:

Sexual abuse includes unwanted sexual touching, force, or pressure (you will do it if you love me) to get a partner to consent, rape or attempted rape, and attempting or having sex with a person who is under the influence of alcohol or drugs.

 

In light of the horrific and tragic death of Gabby Petito days ago, I am reminded of the critical need to educate youth and young adults about healthy and unhealthy relationships.  How can we turn a blind-eye when we know the consequences? 

 

 

I am a college Social Work Professor who has found it incredibly surprising that the majority of my students have not received information about dating violence and unhealthy relationships. Even kids of amazingly informative and loving parents are being threatened, hurt, or worse by their boyfriend/girlfriend. I’ve had three opportunities to talk with teens or college-aged students, and each time, I was approached with a story of presently being in an unhealthy/violent relationship. 

Our youth and young adults need education, our support, and connection to all of the services they need.  Prevention and intervention are critical. We cannot assume youth have the tools to avoid unhealthy relationships or know the resources for those in the midst of one. Further, many may know or have known a friend or relative trapped in an unsafe relationship, and need help. Let us be fountains of love, grace, support, and wisdom.

In my teen years, I felt that I had no resources or persons to share my troubles with regarding being in an abusive relationship. I suffered in silence with mountains of anxiety and depression. Dating violence was not discussed at home, by friends, or at school. Most likely, I was not the only one from my high school suffering in silence. As I look back on those years, I believe that shame and low self-esteem prevented me from reaching out. Our communities need to know the “red flags,” and how to help.

Let there be no more tragedies such as that of Gabby Petito.